Bob’s Retort: The Guardian’s Theater of the Absurd
An educational edition — Parts I and II
Bob’s Retort: The Guardian’s Theater of the Absurd
An Educational Edition — Parts I & II
By Jim Reynolds | www.reynolds.com
Preface: Why This Matters
Most days, Bob’s Retort is about velocity: a quick jab, a sharp counterpunch, a distilled rebuttal you can read over coffee. Today is different. Today we slow down. We take one piece of media propaganda — Sidney Blumenthal’s Guardian screed — and pull it apart line by line. Not for cheap thrills, but for education.
Why? Because almost nobody does this. It takes patience, detail, and deep understanding. It means not just disagreeing with the hacks, but exposing the tricks of their trade. Think of it as a master class in how propaganda is built — and how to dismantle it.
We ask for your patience. It will take a while. But by the time you reach the end, you’ll see not only how Blumenthal lies, but how every trick in the book is deployed. You’ll be sharper, better armed, and immune to their games.
Yes, it risks reader fatigue. But education requires repetition. And sometimes, as Mark Steyn might say, ridicule is best delivered with a scalpel, not a chainsaw. This is ridicule with footnotes. Stay with us. It will be worth it.
Who is Sidney Blumenthal?
A Clinton-world enforcer. A narrative hitman. A man who has never met a smear he didn’t launder. For decades he has done one thing: plant, spin, and assassinate reputations on behalf of his patrons. If media trust is at record lows, Sid deserves his share of the blame.
Who is The Guardian?
Once a British paper, now a parody of itself. It exists to sneer at conservatives, launder gossip into “analysis,” and provide left-wing readers with a steady diet of “Trump Bad” theater. It is, essentially, the overseas cousin of the New York Times — except smugger.
What Are They Reporting?
Blumenthal’s piece — “There is no Trump doctrine in foreign policy. Just chaos” — claimed to analyze Trump’s summit with Putin in Alaska. Instead, it was a 3,000-word clown show: sneers, mind-reading, cartoon imagery. Trump “melted.” He “fled.” He “dreamed of prizes.” Putin was “elated.” Trump Tower Moscow was resurrected like a zombie from 2016.
It was not analysis. It was narrative theater. Propaganda for the afflicted by Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS).
Why This Retort?
Because we don’t just disagree — we expose the techniques. We show you how the sausage is made. Blumenthal’s tricks are the Guardian’s tricks are the Left’s tricks. Once you’ve seen them, you can’t unsee them.
The Article, Annotated by Bob
The Opening Frame
The recent summit meeting in Alaska between Trump and Putin was nothing short of a theater of the absurd.
BOB: THERE IT IS. THE OPENING FRAME. NO FACTS, JUST INSULT. DEFINE THE STORY AS “ABSURD” BEFORE PRESENTING EVIDENCE.
This is Propaganda Trick #1 — Framing First.
The Early Barrage
Blumenthal piles on: Trump “prostrated.” Trump as “big baby.” Europe as “adults.” A “chariot ride.” Stuffed animals tossed from limousines.
BOB: THIS IS FANFICTION. A PLAYGROUND INSULT PARADED AS ANALYSIS. “TRUMP BAD, DETAILS TO FOLLOW.”
This is Propaganda Trick #2 — Cartoon Imagery.
The Zelenskyy Spin
Trump is accused of handing his “cards” to Putin. No evidence, no details, just assertion.
BOB: EMPTY CLAIMS. ASSERT IT WITH CONFIDENCE, HOPE THE READER NODS.
This is Propaganda Trick #3 — Assertion Without Proof.
The Nobel Smear
Trump “dreams of a Nobel Prize.”
BOB: PURE MIND-READING. INVENT A MOTIVE, MOCK HIM FOR IT. THAT’S NOT REPORTING — IT’S PSYCHIC FANFICTION.
This is Propaganda Trick #4 — Mind-Reading.
The Meltdown Myth
“In Alaska, Trump melted again in the presence of Putin.”
BOB: MILLIONS WATCHED. NONE SAW MELTING. THIS IS BLUMENTHAL’S FAVORITE MOVE: EMOTION-AS-FACT.
This is Propaganda Trick #5 — Emotion Posed as Evidence.
The Witkoff Smear
Steve Witkoff, Trump’s envoy, is reduced to “a New York real estate operator.”
BOB: SMEAR 101. REDUCE HIM TO A JOB TITLE, IGNORE HIS ACTUAL RECORD.
This is Propaganda Trick #6 — Character Minimization.
⏸ Pause Point (Part I)
By now, you see the rhythm: insult, cartoon, mind-reading, smear. Repeat until word count is met. The Guardian calls it “analysis.” We call it a propaganda loop.
Midpoint Reflection: The Role of the Press
Let’s step back. Why does this matter? Because journalism is supposed to inform. Instead, hacks like Blumenthal perform. They don’t report — they sneer. They don’t weigh facts — they frame. They don’t quote principals — they quote “sources” who sound suspiciously like themselves.
This is why trust in media is at rock bottom. Gallup and Pew show approval ratings scraping single digits. The only people left believing The Guardian are the clapping-seal true believers who already bought the act. Everyone else knows the con.
Mark Steyn once quipped that modern journalists don’t cover politics — they roleplay as its priests. They chant the liturgy: Trump is chaos, conservatives are fools, Europe is wise, liberals are noble. It’s ritual. A fraud in vestments.
Back to the Article (Part II)
Witkoff “misunderstood” Putin. Rubio and Vance were “chaotic.” Trump gave Putin “enormous economic advantages.” All without evidence.
BOB: THIS IS HOW YOU INVENT DISASTER — OUTSOURCE SMEARS TO FOREIGN TABLOIDS, THEN PRETEND THEY’RE FACTS.
This is Propaganda Trick #7 — Anonymous Echo.
Blumenthal compares Ukraine to the West Bank, invokes Trump Tower Moscow, and drags in the Russia Hoax.
BOB: SAME OLD MOVES. RECYCLE THE SMEAR. NEVER ADMIT YOU PUSHED A FRAUD.
This is Propaganda Trick #8 — Recycle Hoaxes.
Finally: Trump “fled the stage.” Hannity the “lapdog.” Trump as kleptocrat.
BOB: THIS IS THE GRAND FINALE: SMEAR TRUMP, SMEAR HIS ALLIES, SMEAR HIS AUDIENCE. EVERY TRICK IN THE BOOK, IN ONE BREATH.
This is Propaganda Trick #9 — Delegitimize the Audience.
The Arsenal: Blumenthal’s Toolkit
Framing First — open with sneers.
Cartoon Imagery — stuffed animals, melting.
Assertion Without Proof.
Mind-Reading.
Emotion as Fact.
Character Minimization.
Anonymous Echo.
Recycle Hoaxes.
Delegitimize the Audience.
Universal Villain Frame — Trump as selfish, vain, corrupt. Always the same ending.
The Big Picture
This isn’t journalism. It’s theater for people who hate Trump. It doesn’t inform — it flatters its self-righteous audience. It doesn’t reveal — it conceals.
And here’s the real danger: it makes peace itself disreputable if the wrong man attempts it. Trump trying to end a war? Call it chaos. Mock it as wreckage. Sneer until the audience boos. That’s not oversight — or even observation. That’s sabotage.
Our method — annotation, exposure, ridicule — is the antidote. By the time you reach this line, you don’t just see that Blumenthal lied. You see how the lie was constructed. And once you see the trick, the trick never works again.
Closing Note from Bob
Blumenthal’s headline claimed: There is no Trump doctrine, just chaos.
The truth? The chaos is in his writing. The doctrine is projection.
When hacks like Blumenthal cry “wreckage,” remember: they’re describing themselves.
🎭 The Arsenal of Media Tricks
1. Framing First — Lead with sneers before evidence.
Example: “Theater of the absurd,” “chaos.”
2. Cartoon Imagery — Turn events into a parody to discredit them.
Example: stuffed animals, chariots, “melted.”
3. Assertion Without Proof — State conclusions confidently, skip evidence.
Example: “Trump handed his cards to Putin.”
4. Mind-Reading — Assign motives, fears, or emotions.
Example: Trump “dreamed” of Nobel, was “dejected.”
5. Emotion as Fact — Replace facts with emotional claims.
Example: “Trump melted again in Alaska.”
6. Character Minimization — Reduce allies to caricatures.
Example: Witkoff as “a real estate operator.”
7. Anonymous Echo — Launder gossip via unnamed or foreign sources.
Example: “According to Bild…”
8. Outrage by Association — Invoke a toxic analogy to smear.
Example: Israel/West Bank model.
9. Recycle Hoaxes — Revive discredited narratives.
Example: Trump Tower Moscow, Russia hoax.
10. Gaslighting — Mention real scandals only to mock the truth.
Example: “Russia, Russia, Russia hoax” — ridiculed.
11. Delegitimize Audience — Smear readers and allies too.
Example: Hannity = “lapdog,” Fox viewers gullible.
12. Universal Villain Frame — Always end by declaring Trump corrupt, vain, evil.
Example: “Putin manqué,” kleptocrat finale.