Gutfeld! Versus Kimmel
The sinking Titanic versus the happy speedboat
Gutfeld! Versus Kimmel
By Jim Reynolds | www.reynolds.com
Note: Something different today. That’s the fun of writing on my own Substack — I can chase whatever rabbit hole looks interesting. My usual wheelhouse is politics, culture, nostalgia, and humor, but I’ve got a lot of side streets: building trails in the woods, wrenching on ATVs, fixing houses, shooting photos, closing estates (I’ve done three), software engineering, AI that solves problems (or doesn’t), songwriting, running 50-year reunions, music theory. Readers tell me I’m a “connect-the-dots” guy. In a world this confusing, there are a lot of dots begging to be connected.
This is the first of a two-part series on “late night” TV. Once upon a time, this was Johnny Carson’s kingdom, then Jay Leno’s, then Letterman’s. Now? The landscape looks more like a pawnshop after a smash-and-grab. On the West Coast, Gutfeld! comes on at 7:00 p.m. — which tells you how elastic “late night” has become. Tonight is the table-setting: two players, one stage. Next time we connect the bigger dots. Spoiler: you won’t find this in TV Guide.
1. Distribution: Free vs. Paid … vs. Blacked Out
Kimmel lives on ABC, “free” television — except it isn’t free anymore if your local affiliate won’t show him. Nexstar and Sinclair pulled the plug, erasing him from more than 70 stations, including Seattle, DC, Nashville, and New Orleans.
Bob: “When affiliates would rather air infomercials than your monologue, that’s not censorship — that’s programming triage.”
Meanwhile, Gutfeld sits behind a cable paywall and still outdraws Kimmel. That’s like charging admission to a lemonade stand and still selling out.
2. The Scoreboard
Kimmel: ~1.1 million viewers and sinking.
Gutfeld: 3.3 million and rising.
Trace Gallagher: 1.5 million — yes, even the backup act beats Jimmy.
Bob: “If Trace and his news nerds are beating you in prime time, you’re not a late-night host — you’re a rerun.”
3. The Leno Yardstick
Leno pulled 5–6 million a night, peaking at 15 million for his farewell. Kimmel and friends? Fighting over scraps. No appreciable internet influence in that era.
Bob: “In Carson’s day, America laughed together. In Kimmel’s day, America changes the channel.”
4. The Formats
Kimmel: monologue, sketches, celebrities, music.
Gutfeld: monologue, jokes, roundtable, ridicule, politics, jokes, mockery.
One feels like a sarcastic and boring cocktail party. The other feels like a mock bar fight over who can be the most absurd. Guess which one America shows up for.
Bob: “Late night used to tuck you in. Now it slaps you awake.”
5. The Blackout Bite
Kimmel’s blackout lops 200–275k viewers. Hulu and YouTube may cushion the fall, but Nielsen doesn’t care. Advertisers care even less.
Bob: “Nothing says ‘must-see TV’ like not being seen.”
6. The Suspension
Then came the suspension: after Charlie Kirk’s assassination, Kimmel mocked the right, implied the shooter was MAGA, and compared Trump’s grief to a 4-year-old with a dead goldfish. Networks revolted. ABC benched him.
Bob: “Goldfish jokes? Jimmy, the fish has more viewers than you. It moves more, too. In fact, I believe all your viewers could fit into the fishbowl.”
7. The Return
Kimmel came back with a not-quite-apology: thanked Cruz and Candace, said he didn’t mean it, bashed the FCC, praised Erika Kirk’s forgiveness, plugged Disney+. Critics called it crocodile tears.
Bob: “If that was an apology, then my plumber is a brain surgeon. Not that he would like to trade paychecks with a brain surgeon.”
8. The Bottom Line
Broadcast vs. cable? Old story. Today, Gutfeld behind a paywall beats Kimmel three-to-one. Add blackouts and suspensions, and the contrast sharpens.
Bob: “One’s rising. One’s sinking. Call it the Titanic versus the speedboat. With an exclamation point.”
End Note — The Return of Bob
So here we are. Kimmel blacked out, Gutfeld on top, and late night looking like a thrift shop of broken jokes. Bob’s back, connecting dots with a hammer instead of a Sharpie.
If you laughed, we’ll crank it up. The next piece dives into smug versus gleeful — a heavyweight bout between sneers and belly laughs. If you didn’t laugh? That’s fine too. Bob doesn’t beg for applause. He just reloads.