Visit California™

Where the Future Is Always Just One More Funding Cycle Away

Visit California™

Where the Future Is Always Just One More Funding Cycle Away

By Jim Reynolds | www.reynolds.com

Welcome to California — the state that dares to imagine first, build later, and explain never.

We invite you to experience a once-in-a-lifetime journey through America’s most ambitious experiment in conceptual infrastructure, environmental aspiration, and forward-looking absence. This is not merely a vacation. It is a guided tour of what will be, might be, and was responsibly dismantled — all seamlessly connected by fictional rails.

Your Journey Begins: The Rails

Your adventure starts the moment you step aboard California’s world-famous:

• Imaginary rails

• Anticipated rails

• Future rails

• Soon-to-be-real rails

• Fully funded, not-yet-built rails

• Visionary rails

• Conceptual high-speed rails

• Environmentally sensitive, socially conscious rails

These rails run everywhere — north to south, coast to desert, budget to nowhere — except, of course, on the ground.

Marvel as your invisible bullet train glides effortlessly across the Central Valley, passing monumental half-built viaducts that rise from the fields like Stonehenge with better grant writers. Engineers call them “paused.” Historians will call them “honest.” Future archeologists will likely be “puzzled”.

Below you stretches mile after mile of alfalfa — the only fully realized feature on the tour — reminding us that while rails may be aspirational, agriculture remains stubbornly real.

Stop One: The Dams That Were

Next, we arrive at one of California’s most moving attractions: the Former Dams Experience.

Here, expert guides will gesture broadly at wide, dry riverbeds and explain how water once flowed, before being courageously liberated in the name of ecological balance. Learn how dismantling water retention improved nature, morale, and narrative alignment — if not reservoirs.

Photo opportunities abound. Please note: water not included.

Drop by the gift shop and pick up a keepsake canteen. Though it contains no water, it is scientifically weighted to simulate a full vessel. Complete with a life-like depiction of what water used to look like.

Special Excursion: The Delta Smelt Safari

Hop back aboard our projected rails for a once-exclusive fishing trip to the Sacramento–San Joaquin Delta.

Participants are guaranteed:

• To never catch a delta smelt

• To never see a delta smelt

• To learn that the delta smelt may have gone extinct sometime during the Carter administration, though we’re still planning around it just in case

This immersive experience teaches an important lesson: when a fish becomes an idea, it can protect everything — except itself.

Midday Transfer: Rails, Rails, Rails

As the day unfolds, you’ll seamlessly transition between destinations via:

• Imaginary rails

• Strategic rails

• Community-focused rails

• Equity-aligned rails

• Rails pending environmental review

North meets south.

Former dams meet invisible fish.

Empty home lots meet bold press releases.

All in one day. All without interruption. All thanks to rails.

Stop Two: Pacific Palisades — One Year Later

Arriving via future rails, you’ll tour the scenic Pacific Palisades reconstruction zone, where progress is carefully measured.

Highlights include:

• Hundreds of pristine, build-ready flat lots

• Charred foundations thoughtfully preserved for reflection

• And the crown jewel: one completed structure

Yes — a single, fully compliant doghouse, featuring:

• A fireproof roof

• A concrete garden

• 360-degree waterless sprinklers

• And a permitting timeline that will inspire generations

Your guide will pause here reverently.

“This,” they will say, “is momentum.”

Optional Add-On: The U-Haul Corridor

As you continue eastward — now aboard anticipated rails — you’ll notice a steady flow of U-Hauls heading toward Nevada and Arizona.

These are not departures. They are lifestyle realignments.

Watch as higher-end taxpayers, corporations, and families participate in California’s innovative Distributed Residency Initiative, freeing up housing inventory that will soon be studied, modeled, and left untouched.

Finale: San Francisco — A Walking Tour

No Visit California™ experience would be complete without our unforgettable San Francisco walking tour.

Stroll block after block of breathtaking urban realism. Observe sidewalks that deliver a gritty authenticity Karl Malden himself could never have imagined, even in his most noir-soaked dreams.

Our guides will encourage you to:

Look down

Look around

And reflect on what happens when ideals outpace enforcement

For your safety, closed-toe shoes and open-minded optimism are recommended.

The Grand Unification

And now — the moment you’ve been waiting for.

We are excited to unveil our most ambitious vision yet: the complete integration of every tour stop into one glorious, make-believe Visit California™ ecosystem.

Thanks to fictional rails, future rails, soon-to-exist rails, and rails currently in the imagination phase, you will soon be able to:

• Visit a removed dam in the morning

• Fish for an invisible species at noon

• Tour empty coastal lots by afternoon

• Walk San Francisco by evening

And return home the same day — effortlessly — aboard rails that connect everything except reality

Guests are encouraged to engage their powerful imaginations, which remain the most fully funded component of the project.

This is California as it dreams itself to be.

Bold.

Visionary.

Unencumbered by outcomes.

All aboard!

Taking care of business in Davos.